Quit People-Pleasing: How to Show Up Authentically and Confidently

Join Get Over Your Shit with Malinda Watt in this stimulating episode as she dissects the habit of people-pleasing, illuminating its roots, repercussions, and remedies. Her guidance offers listeners essential strategies to confidently step into their true selves.

Key Takeaways:

• People pleasing arises from fear and conditioning, ultimately leading to exhaustion and resentment.
• Saying yes to others often means saying no to yourself, compromising your needs and self-worth.
• Building self-worth and confidence is essential to replacing the habit of people-pleasing.
• Setting clear boundaries allows you to respect yourself and teaches others to respect you.
• The conscious decision to prioritize personal needs can lead to empowerment and authenticity.

"To stop people pleasing, you need to start believing that your needs and desires are just as important as anyone else's."

Additional Links & Resources:

• Stop letting content keep you stuck—jumpstart your website planning with clarity and confidence! Get your content organized in just a few hours: https://malindawatt.com/planner
• Try Siteground, my favorite website hosting company: Siteground.com
• Learn more about me and my work at malindawatt.com

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Get Over Your Sh!t! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow the podcast and leave a rating or review. Share this with someone who needs a push to start taking action—because we’re all about moving forward together!

Hosted by Malinda Watt
Edited by Chris @ Wider View Studios
Music License purchased from stockmusic.com

Transcript

0:00:00 - (Malinda Watt): Hello and welcome to get over your.

0:00:02 - (B): Shit, the podcast dedicated to helping digital.

0:00:05 - (Malinda Watt): Course creators, entrepreneurs and small business owners stop overthinking and start executing. I'm Melinda Watt, your host and fellow overthinker, here to guide you through the.

0:00:15 - (B): Maze of self doubt and procrastination that keeps us from reaching our full potential. Today, we're diving into a topic that's going to set you free if you're ready for it. Mind you, this can take a lot of work and many years of working through it, but one small step at a time. We're talking about quitting the people pleasing habit once and for all so you can start showing up authentically and confidently and start living a life that's actually yours.

0:00:46 - (B): Let's be real. People pleasing is one of the most exhausting and draining habits out there. And here's the kicker. The more you say yes to everyone else, the less you're showing up for yourself. So if you're tired of bending over backwards for everyone else while your own needs take a backseat, stay tuned. This one's for you. Let's start by understanding why we get into people pleasing in the first place.

0:01:13 - (B): People pleasing is usually born from a mix of fear and conditioning. Fear of rejection, fear of disappointing others, and a desire for approval. Somewhere along the way, we learn to prioritize other people's happiness over our own thinking. It's the nice thing to do. But here's the problem. When you're constantly saying yes to everyone else, you're essentially saying no to yourself. You end up living your life for other people's expectations and losing touch with what you truly want.

0:01:46 - (B): And that's a fast track to feeling resentful, exhausted and unfulfilled. Trust me, I am speaking from experience here. Now let's talk about the real cost of people pleasing. Because it's not just a harmless habit. When you're always putting others first, you're sacrificing your own time, energy and mental health. You're telling yourself, consciously or not, that everyone else's needs matter more than yours.

0:02:15 - (B): And let me tell you, that's not true. The more you put everyone else's needs before your own, the more disconnected you become from who you are and what you want. And over time, that eats away at your confidence and your self worth. You start to wonder, what about me? You might even forget what your own priorities and values are. That's a steep price to pay just to avoid disappointing a few people.

0:02:45 - (B): All right, so if people pleasing is out, what do you replace it with? The answer is self worth and confidence. To stop people pleasing, you need to start believing that your needs and desires are just as important as anyone else's. And that comes from self worth. Here's a quick exercise. The next time you're about to say yes to something, pause and ask yourself, am I saying yes because I want to or because I feel like I have to?

0:03:15 - (B): If it's the latter, you might be falling into that people pleasing trap. Remind yourself that you don't need anyone's approval to feel worthy. Your worth isn't based on how much you do for others, it's based on who you are. Now let's talk about boundaries. Because if you're serious about quitting, people pleasing boundaries are non negotiable. Setting boundaries doesn't make you selfish or mean. It actually makes you healthier and more present for the people who matter most.

0:03:49 - (B): Boundaries are simply guidelines you set for how you want to be treated. When you set a boundary, you're telling people, this is where I start and this is where I end. It's an act of self respect and it teaches people to respect you too. And if someone doesn't respect your boundary, that's not a reflection on you, that's a reflection on them. Here's a simple boundary setting formula to start using.

0:04:17 - (B): I'm not available for X, but I'm available for Y. For example, I'm not available for last minute meetings, but I'm happy to schedule a time in advance. This lets you set a clear boundary while offering an alternative that works for you. It's firm, it's respectful, and it reinforces your worth. So here's the takeaway from today's episode.

0:04:45 - (Malinda Watt): Quitting people pleasing is one of the.

0:04:48 - (B): Most powerful things you can do to reclaim your energy, your confidence, and your authenticity. Remember, every time you say yes to someone else, make sure you're not saying no to yourself. Here's my challenge for you this week. Pick one situation where you're tempted to say yes just to avoid disappointing someone and instead say no. Set that boundary and notice how it feels to show up for yourself.

0:05:17 - (B): You might be surprised at how empowering it is to put yourself first.

0:05:24 - (Malinda Watt): Thank you for tuning in to this episode of get over your Shit.

0:05:27 - (B): If you found this helpful, be sure to subscribe.

0:05:29 - (Malinda Watt): Share this episode with a fellow overthinker and leave a review. Your feedback helps the podcast grow and reach more people who need to hear this message. Until next time, Remember, progress over perfection. You've got this.